helluva boss chaz

“Ummm...” she hemmed, swallowing nervously. “Playtime, Brucie! Playtime!” Bruce paused in his attempts to rape me, settling back down to four paws and tilting his head in adorable confusion, making me laugh. “Playtime, Brucie!” she repeated. “Playtime with Mommy!”

“Actually, it’s meant to mimic the effects of sunlight. UV light is what causes sunburns. Unfortunately, while easy to make, it’s not as effective as you might think. The light is too… artificial. It lacks the potency of real sunlight. I tested it numerous times while in Welindar, always trying to improve it, but it was never more than an irritant to the Profane and their parasites. It didn’t help that the lower-ranked fiends can endure the sunlight in exchange for their lesser strength. Even if it did hurt them, the damage was very minor. It was better to just stick with my regular weapons and magic, though I regret that it wasn’t in working condition when Lupin and I fought Kaisen. Perhaps it would have wounded him. These tralt jewels, on the other hand, are great for absorbing light and energy. Using these, I can capture true sunlight, augment it, and use it whenever I need.”

Sarah flopped down on the couch and started scrolling on her phone. She knew she should be doing her homework, or some after workout stretches but she was in a bad mood tonight and wasn’t about to do anything productive. All the girls in her volleyball team had spent practice gossiping about their boyfriends or the boys that they were into while Sarah just had to smile and listen. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t interested in those types of things, but she could do without the snide remarks they made about her being the only one without a boyfriend or even having a crush yet. She’d watched porn and masturbated, but with the way the other girls talked about guys and sex, she couldn’t understand the hype. Whatever itch it scratched for them just didn’t exist the same way for her.