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I passed Carol unexpectedly in the hall after first period. To my surprise, she smiled brightly at me and asked how my weekend went. I mumbled a response and hurried away, and the smile disappeared from her face. Later in class, she seemed tense and kept looking my way. I was completely distracted and just doodled on my notebook. Finally the bell rang and we started packing up.

“Hey! What gives?”He laughed warmly, “Just didn’t want you falling asleep on the couch this time.”He gave her foot another light tickle, causing her foot to spasm in his hands.“OK, OK. I’m going to bed.”“Good night, Sare-Bear. I love you.”“I know, dad. I love you too.”

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.