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Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.

“Yeah, I know...” I commiserated, and now that Brucie was no longer in my way I could lean down to give her a comforting hug. “You get used to that part, eventually. Just try to relax, and focus on how good it feels filling you up. He'll start to shrink down pretty quick. You can also put your hand on your pussy, if you want, to hold your lips closed and keep him in there longer. It can help, to make sure he's shrunk down even smaller before you decide to let him out, so he doesn't stretch you so much when he does it. Just don't hold him in there too long, or eventually he'll get annoyed and twist around to nip you on your butt to make you let him go.”

When she didn’t answer, her father’s hand started to move, clumsily dragging along her back before his hand fell on her butt and gave it a squeeze.