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Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.

I was on my knees when I slid two fingers into Carol’s pussy. I watched her face as I found that spot and rubbed gently. Carol moved her hips slightly and ground against my fingers. I slipped my thumb between her labia and started rubbing her clit. I wanted to watch her face when she came, the way she watches my face when she makes me spew my load down her throat. She wasn’t having it. She reached between her legs, pushed my thumb away and spread her pussy lips.

I guess I looked a little dazed as well. I just did all sorts of things to my teacher’s ass that weren’t in my Dad’s book. I really didn’t know how to feel. Carol sensed my confusion and spun around to sit on the edge of the island. She took my face in her hands and looked me straight in the eye.