arcee

We eventually pried ourselves out of bed, performing a much-needed changing of the sheets and then trooping into the bathroom together, taking care of the necessaries and enjoying a soft, playful shower. It was a little bit crowded, with all three of us in there at once, but I loved every moment of it, and we only came out again once we ran out of hot water and Mom and I had started to shiver from the cold. We dried each other off, snuggling and warming up, then climbed into bed, Mom insisting I take the middle.

“She was crying, begging me to stop, saying that I was hurting her. I just laughed, telling her she should be grateful to receive my affection, and that nothing in her life would compare to the glory of bearing my child. Galvin always told me that it didn’t matter what happened to the weak; it was our birthright to take what we wanted because we were superior in blood and magic. I wanted to believe him, because with him, I wasn’t alone. We had fun, we laughed, and we dismissed everyone and everything that got in our way. I wanted to believe that there was nothing wrong with us, even if, deep down, I knew the truth.

“But though we’ve gone to war with the church, I am still a devout believer in Lumendori. I told Cyrilo that by helping her, I was dirtying my soul in the eyes of God, and that’s how I truly feel. Ever since that night, I’ve been unable to pray, and I feel so alone. I’m left wondering by what right I have to ask Lumendori for protection or forgiveness, having involved myself in the purest evil. Have I turned my back on God, or has God turned his back on me?”