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Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.

“Now you know how it feels to be the receiver,” Falco panted, “to be the one hoping for mercy from someone you once knew and trusted. But I won’t give it to you. Today, your story of murder and betrayal ends.” He pulled back his fist, ready to deliver the finishing blow. “Today, justice will be served!” Then Noah dosed him with more gas, and his legs gave out from under him. At that moment, Viktor threw himself forward with all the strength he had left, driving his burning hand through Falco’s gut and bursting out of his back.

Remember this is long before 24 hour internet porn. I thought only gay guys fucked ass, and I had the fleeting thought that if I fucked her ass that would make me gay. It wasn’t in Dad’s book, and I had no idea a woman would want to take dick in her ass. I was very confused.