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“Look what you’re making me do? I was supposed to stop this and now…Oh fuck!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Yeah, right there…right there...just like that…just like that…just like…oh my fucking God!!” I felt every muscle in her body tense and then release in a rush of pleasure. “Ooooh…ooooh…oh! Yeah!” I pulled her closer until her body stopped trembling. I withdrew my finger from her pussy and licked her juices from it. Mrs. B. was smiling now as she pulled harder on my rigid dick. She started to pull my pants down over my hips and going down to her knees, but I stopped her. She looked up at me, surprised.

“And went back to doing the church’s dirty work. Let me guess, you were the one who sabotaged Roc’s fight? Oh, Bojena, for shame. You had it all: the respect of your peers, the power of a gold-ranked knight, and a noble purpose in serving the community, and you gave it all up to serve greedy men in robes.”

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.