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“You’re so cute! You know I always want you to take what you want.” She looked towards the stall door. “Even if it gets me fired. Come here.” She took my hand and drew me closer. She stuck out her tongue and licked my now dangling cock at her eye level. She took it all into her mouth. “I just wanted a mouthful of your cum and I get this. My cock obliged by weakly dribbling a few drops of cum into Carol’s warm mouth. “Mmmm….best thing I’ve eaten all day.” She lifted up on one cheek and wiped her bum with the shirt. It was drenched with semen. “I’ll have to hide that one in the trash,” she smirked. “Hand me my panties. I’ve got to clean up in the ladies’ room. I’m supposed to meet my husband for lunch in 20 minutes. I hope he doesn’t notice I’m walking funny.” She pulled her panties on, smoothed her dress and arranged her hair in the mirror. She wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon.” She disappeared quietly out of the door.

I spent that weekend feeling increasingly more guilty. What had I done? Pussy was one thing, but sticking my dick in her ass? Sticking my tongue in her ass? Gross and probably illegal. No cell phones or email, so I couldn’t get in touch with Carol and find out she was okay or have her talk me off the ledge. I was afraid she would realize the next day what I had done and call the police. I went to school on Monday thinking they were going to haul me into the principal’s office or just take me away.

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.