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“Are you sure, Mom?” I asked. “I know this all really came at you in a rush. It totally makes sense for you to be the focus of cuddles tonight, if you want.”

“Lick me right here,” she said, spreading her pussy lips and touching her clit with one hand.” “If you lick me here, I will be in heaven.” I reached the tip of my tongue and just touched her clit, flicking my tongue gently. “Oh hell yeah…just keep doing that…” Carol grabbed my hair and held my face in her pussy. She ground her clit against my tongue. My face was covered with her juices. Her pussy smelled wonderful. I think I developed my lifelong love of eating pussy in that moment. “Mmmmm…ohhhh…oh God…mmmm.” Carol moaned, her breathing becoming more rapid. She dug her heels into my back as she rubbed her pussy harder against my tongue and face. “Awwww…yeah…yeah…GOD!!” Carol’s body tensed and thrashed, her back arched sharply as she came in my mouth. “Wow…oh my God…your tongue feels amazing.” She released her grip on my hair and let me come up for air.

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.