nutting meaning

If you want punishment for you and Cyrilo, tell me this, what will it accomplish? What’s done is done. The dead are already in the ground, and no amount of flagellation will bring them back. Whether you receive punishment or not, nothing changes. None of it matters. It’s all pointless. If you were a violent criminal, unrepentant, or even pleased with the carnage Bella wrought, then for the objective sake of society, I would say you should be locked away or executed. However, that isn’t you. I see your guilt and pain, so it’s not like there is any grand lesson for you to learn by being punished. If you think sitting in the dungeon will make you feel better, relieve you of your guilt, and bless you with a clean conscience, then the punishment is for your sake, not anyone else’s.”

Alexis sighed. “I’ve lost fights before, plenty of times, as you can imagine. But Bella, that was something else. I failed, Noah. I failed to protect the Knight’s Sheath, my comrades, the king. I was knocked aside by a monster that defies the laws of nature. No matter how much I train, how much I struggle, what good is it when someone like Bella, who never fought a day in her life, can suddenly become an unholy demigod and crush us like we’re insects? How is that fair? Part of me did want to take part in the tournament, to show everyone, including myself, how strong I am. But… I was afraid I would instead be reminded of how weak I am.”

Seraph gripped his head, threatening to rip out his hair as tears poured from his eyes. “I am a coward, remember? I ate that plum because I wanted to escape the pain I now know I deserved. But I wish that plum really had killed me. I wish I had died that day. It would have been better than a life with no hope of redemption. Every morning, I open my eyes and remember waking up after the fight. Realizing you’re alive after trying to end it all, I never knew something could be so painful. Every breath hurt, every beat of my heart was agony, every thought in my mind felt like hot lead, and it all comes again fresh every morning. All I’ve wanted to do since then is… finish what I started.”“I know how you feel.”