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“Tarnas is supposed to be dispatched on a mission before then. He won’t be around to save anyone. And in the chaos, the other knights will struggle to intervene and stop the fiends. Inevitably, they will be vanquished, but mass casualties will be unavoidable.”

“Okay, good,” I sighed with relief. I knew Mom would understand, but it was still good to have her word that she'd keep my secret until I was ready. “But, uhhh... in the meantime, whenever you go over to his place, if you wanted to make sure he fills your pussy with a nice big load just before you come back home... that would be okay, too.”“Is that so?” she chuckled, squeezing me tight under her arm and kissing my hair again. “I'll see what I can do.”

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.