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With her head now closer she realised what she had inadvertently been getting dangerously closer to. Right beneath his pubic hair her father’s penis lay across his thigh, the business end pointing right in her direction. Sarah had seen a few penises when looking at porn and even her own father’s penis when she was a little girl in the showers at the pool, but seeing it now, so close and feeling the way she did took her breath away. Though smaller than in any of the pornos it was no slouch in thickness department, and it seemed to be barely hard at the moment. And unlike any of the shaved ones she saw in porn it was covered in a bush of pubic hair. Something about it made it seem so real! Which Sarah realised was a stupid thought. Of course it was real. It was her father’s real penis and balls right in front of her face. What was she expecting to find?

A moment of silence passed before Tarnas cleared his throat and began to speak. “That truly is an unforgivable crime. You are right to feel guilty, to hate yourself for the things you’ve done. That is what you are supposed to feel, and to admit it now means you are on the correct path. It means you are learning from your mistakes and want to do right. Whether or not you can ever truly make up for what you have done, you can still become a better man than you were before. You can become a man who helps instead of hurts, who strives to make the world a better place.”

Seraph gripped his head, threatening to rip out his hair as tears poured from his eyes. “I am a coward, remember? I ate that plum because I wanted to escape the pain I now know I deserved. But I wish that plum really had killed me. I wish I had died that day. It would have been better than a life with no hope of redemption. Every morning, I open my eyes and remember waking up after the fight. Realizing you’re alive after trying to end it all, I never knew something could be so painful. Every breath hurt, every beat of my heart was agony, every thought in my mind felt like hot lead, and it all comes again fresh every morning. All I’ve wanted to do since then is… finish what I started.”“I know how you feel.”